What you Can’t See: Invisible But Not Imagined—Living and Thriving with ADH

By Victoria Wilson

If you’ve ever looked completely fine on the outside while feeling like your brain is running a marathon while the rest of you feels overwhelmed, restless, or exhausted on the inside… welcome, friend. You’re not alone. That’s the nature of invisible disabilities—they hide in plain sight. More than 1 billion people are living with mental health disorders, according to new data released by the World Health Organization (WHO). 

Growing up, I looked like the happy-go-lucky kid with lots of friends and good energy. Behind my smile lived a brain that felt tangled, fast, loud, and confusing, one that could swing from racing thoughts to hyper-focus without warning. Long before I learned the word ADHD, I was wrestling with the feeling of being “too much” and “not enough” at the same time. Back then, I thought my invisible disabilities were flaws. Today, through study, healing and lived experience, I see them as part of my superpowers.

Below are five big ideas that helped shift my entire worldview.

1. Invisible Disabilities Are Real—And They Don’t Have a “Look”

A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions) (CDC, 2025a)

Invisible disabilities like ADHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and chronic illnesses affect millions of people, yet they are often misunderstood or dismissed (CDC, 2025b).

To the outside world, everything may look “normal,” but inside, a person may be fighting a battle that is painfully challenging. Disabilities, visible and invisible, can make getting out of bed to face the day a daunting challenge.  You can look “fine” and still be fighting a real internal battle. The truth is: A disability you can’t see is still a disability.

2. Misconceptions Create Barriers—Not the Disabilities Themselves

Many people with invisible disabilities face assumptions such as “You look fine,” “You’re lazy,” “You have no regard for other people's time,” or “It’s all in your head.” These misconceptions become significant barriers to diagnosis, treatment, and self-worth. Here’s the ‘Paradox of Invisible Disabilities’, society tells me to hide my disability; doctors tell me to prove my disability. People don’t always believe how much your disability affects your life, and doctors don’t always diagnose it. These invisible challenges can be just as limiting as physical disabilities, and they shape the way we move through the world, how we see ourselves, how we measure our worth and how much joy we allow ourselves to feel.

Nevertheless, the invisibly disabled are quite real and facing the world against the odds.

One of the most common misunderstandings is that if someone appears well, they must be well. But invisible disabilities can be deeply limiting and painful—just not visible to the naked eye.

We rarely know the weight others carry, and we never know the pain behind someone’s smile.

3. From “What’s Wrong With Me?” to “This Is My Superpower”

For years, ADHD made me feel less capable, especially compared to my four siblings who excelled academically. Their success had each of their names on the elementary school hallway walls for the honor roll each semester for all to see. Not me—my name was never on the wall. I remember walking that hallway and feeling the sting in my chest, wondering why my brain couldn’t work the way theirs did. I assumed I’d missed out on the “smart gene,” that something inside me was broken or lacking. Through education and the lens of positive psychology (Seligman, 2000), everything began to shift. ADHD didn’t limit me; I learned that what I thought were deficits actually were a collection of strengths. I did not have to live feeling ashamed and embarrassed, 

Creativity, intuition, humor, and empathy all flourish in neurodivergent minds.a disability may shape you, but it doesn’t have to shrink you.

4. Happiness Is a Skill—And You Can Build It

As Aristotle put it, happiness is the ultimate purpose of life. This means that how we spend our day-to-day lives is ultimately guided by what we think would make us happier. This is not a good or a bad thing. It simply is, like the law of nature. 

Happiness isn’t something you either “have” or “don’t have”; it’s something you can cultivate using tools and techniques. Research shows mindfulness and meditation help reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, ADHD, and stress (Davis & Hayes, 2011; Keng et al., 2011; Shahar et al., 2015).

Meditation programs have been linked to improved emotional regulation (Hoge et al., 2013), reduced stress-related anxiety (Goyal et al., 2014; Ratanasiripong et al., 2015), and improved adolescent mental health.

Resilience fosters a growth mindset, it embraces our hardships, along with our innate resilience to grow from them. Connect this idea with gratitude which increases our happiness by focusing on what is working and we are building a foundation for more life satisfaction. 

And then there’s sleep… Matthew Walker’s research makes it clear that sleep is a fundamental pillar of emotional regulation, attention, and memory.

Happiness isn’t accidental. It’s practiced.

5. The SPIRE Model: A Framework for Living Well

One of the most transformative models I’ve used is Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s SPIRE model—Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional wellbeing. Those pillars emphasize meaning, healthy habits, learning, connection, and emotional honesty.

Communication is courage, suffering in silence has its place, but maintaining healthy relationships with friends and loved ones means honesty. While illness is a very personal experience, the people who care about you want to help.

Inspiration may lead to purpose, which can motivate you for the rest of your life.  Whether you’re inspired by the sunrise, leaves falling gently from the trees, the smell of breakfast, or your children—finding these “little” inspirations can make a significant difference in your life. Positive psychology reminds us that “mental health is much more than the absence of mental illness”.

Implementing the SPIRE model helped me accept that visible or invisible challenges don’t block a fulfilling life, they help create it.

Where I am now, viewing life through a new lens.

My disability still presents real challenges—often significant ones. Executive dysfunction, time management difficulties, lack of focus, overwhelm, decision paralysis, and memory gaps are daily hurdles that don’t simply “go away.” And yet, these obstacles don’t define me, my abilities or my worth. Despite them, I am a PhD student, a mother of three beautiful children, and a woman who continues to learn, adapt, and rise. ADHD has taught me resilience. It has pushed me to build skills, create systems, design supportive environments, and develop habits that help me thrive rather than constantly struggle. 

Most importantly, I’ve stopped apologizing for the way my brain works. Instead, I’ve learned to honor it, work with it, and advocate for myself and others who walk a similar path. My story isn’t about “fixing” ADHD—it’s about embracing the whole-person journey of learning, growing, and overcoming in ways that are uniquely my own. My journey is proof that strength and struggle can—and do—coexist beautifully. 

To anyone living with an invisible struggle:

• You are not broken.

• You are not alone.

• And your challenges may become your greatest source of strength. 

Give yourself permission to be human. You just might discover your own superpower.

References:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2025a). Disability and health overview. https://www.cdc.gov/disability-and-health/about/index.html 

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2025b). Mental health: Facts and statistics. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/mental-health.htm 

Davis, D. M., & Hayes, J. A. (2011). What are the benefits of mindfulness? A practice review of psychotherapy-related research. Psychotherapy (Chicago, Ill.), 48(2), 198–208. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022062

Edenfield, T. M., & Saeed, S. A. (2012). An update on mindfulness meditation as a self-help treatment for anxiety and depression. Psychology Research and Behavior Management, 5, 131–141.

Goyal, M., Singh, S., Sibinga, E. M., Gould, N. F., Rowland-Seymour, A., Sharma, R., Berger, Z., Sleicher, D., Maron, D. D., Shihab, H. M., Ranasinghe, P. D., Linn, S., Saha, S., Bass, E. B., & Haythornthwaite, J. A. (2014). Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: a systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA internal medicine, 174(3), 357–368. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamainternmed.2013.13018 

Hoge, E. A., Bui, E., Marques, L., et al. (2013). Randomized trial of mindfulness meditation for generalized anxiety disorder. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 74(8), 786–792.

Invisible Disabilities Association. (n.d.). https://invisibledisabilities.org/publications/invisibleawareness/livingwithinvisibledisabilities/  

Keng, S.‐L., Smoski, M. J., & Robins, C. J. (2011). Effects of mindfulness on psychological health: A review. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(6), 1041–1056.

National Endowement for the Humanities (n.d.). Martin Seligman and the Rise of Positive Psychology. https://www.neh.gov/article/martin-seligman-and-rise-positive-psychology 

Ratanasiripong, P., Kaewboonchoo, O., Ratanasiripong, N., Hanklang, S., & Chumchai, P. (2015). Biofeedback Intervention for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression among Graduate Students in Public Health Nursing. Nursing research and practice, 2015, 160746. https://doi.org/10.1155/2015/160746 

Seligman, M. E. P. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5–14.

Shahar, B., Szsepsenwol, O., Zilcha-Mano, S., Haim, N., Zamir, O., Levi-Yeshuvi, S., & Levit-Binnun, N. (2015). A wait-list randomized controlled trial of loving-kindness meditation programme for self-criticism. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy, 22(4), 346–356. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.1893 

World Health Organization. (2022). Mental disorders fact sheet. https://www.who.int

World Health Organization. (n.d.). Global mental health statistics. https://www.who.int/news/item/02-09-2025-over-a-billion-people-living-with-mental-health-conditions-services-require-urgent-scale-up 

Zeidan, F., Johnson, S. K., Diamond, B. J., David, Z., & Goolkasian, P. (2010). Mindfulness meditation improves cognition: evidence of brief mental training. Consciousness and cognition, 19(2), 597–605. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.concog.2010.03.014

About the Author:

Victoria is a wellbeing educator, motivational speaker, and coach with a master’s in Happiness Science and a current PhD student under Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. A Certified Applied Positive Psychology Practitioner, Reiki Master, and future LCADC, she blends research-backed tools with a warm, human approach to help people feel grounded, joyful, and at home within themselves. Through teaching, writing, speaking, and work in the Substance Use Community, she creates supportive spaces where people are seen, encouraged, and empowered to grow with resilience.

Photo: Elizaveta Dushechkina: https://www.pexels.com/ru-ru/photo/3750715/