Authentic Happiness: Returning to What Truly Matters

By Katherina Capra

Many years ago, when one of my daughters was still a baby, I experienced a moment that has remained vividly alive in my memory ever since.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon at a club. Families gathered around the pool, children were playing, and life was unfolding in its usual, ordinary way.

I was holding my daughter in my arms. She was only a few months old.

Suddenly, she reached up with her tiny hand, gently touched my forehead, and gave me a kiss.

The moment lasted only seconds.

Nothing extraordinary happened around us. Yet something shifted within me.

I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of love, gratitude, and connection. It was as if time slowed down for a brief instant. The noise around me faded, and all that existed was that simple moment between us.

Years later, I can still recall it with remarkable clarity.

Looking back, I have often wondered why this brief experience remained so deeply etched in my memory while countless other moments faded away. Perhaps it was because I was fully present. Perhaps it was because it invited a profound sense of connection. Or perhaps it revealed something important about happiness itself.

That small moment brought me a micro moment of happiness, one that lasted only seconds but has stayed with me for years.

And perhaps authentic happiness is built exactly this way—not through one extraordinary event, but through the accumulation of small moments of connection, meaning, gratitude, love, and presence that become woven into the story of our lives.

Experiences like this have led me to reflect on deeper questions:

What truly matters?

What gives life meaning?

How do we cultivate authentic happiness?

For me, those questions began emerging more consciously about ten years ago.

From the outside, many things looked successful. Yet internally, I sensed a quiet invitation toward greater alignment—between who I was, what I valued, and how I was living. Around that time, I also experienced a growing sense of clarity about my purpose. Discovering work centered on wellbeing, human development, and flourishing felt less like finding something new and more like returning to something that had always been waiting for me.

That period gradually led me to reconsider parts of my professional path and reconnect with work centered on wellbeing, human development, and flourishing. But perhaps the deepest transformation was not professional at all.

It was relational.

I began relating differently to myself, to time, and to other people.

And perhaps this is where authentic happiness begins.

We often imagine happiness as a destination—a feeling we finally arrive at when circumstances improve, goals are achieved, or life becomes easier. Yet happiness studies suggest something more nuanced. Sustainable wellbeing appears to be shaped less by external achievement and more by meaning, engagement, and relationships that help us feel deeply connected to life (Seligman, 2011).

In other words, authentic happiness may not be something we achieve.

It may be something we cultivate.

For me, part of that cultivation involved slowing down.

Not necessarily doing less, but becoming more present.

A more contemplative way of living gradually invited me to notice something I had often overlooked during busier seasons of life: when we become more present, the quality of our experience changes.

We listen more deeply.

We react less automatically.

We notice beauty more easily.

We become more aware of ourselves and others.

And sometimes, we encounter moments that feel difficult to fully explain.

A meaningful conversation that shifts perspective.

Witnessing courage during uncertainty.

A moment in nature that unexpectedly quiets the mind.

Music that touches something deeply human.

A conversation where someone feels truly seen.

Or a baby's kiss that remains in our memory decades later.

In happiness studies and contemplative science, some of these moments are described as experiences of awe—moments that interrupt our usual mental noise and invite us into greater presence, humility, and connection.

When I think about awe, I do not immediately think about mountaintops, grand adventures, or extraordinary accomplishments.

I think about moments like the one with my daughter.

Moments that appear ordinary from the outside, yet somehow stay with us for years.

Moments that remind us what truly matters.

Over time, my curiosity about awe deepened not only as a personal experience, but also as a topic of study and reflection. This exploration eventually led me to contribute a chapter on awe in How We Flourish: Science-Backed Practices at the Core of Well-Being (Vol. 2) and, more recently, to collaborate with colleagues on a research poster presented at the Institute of Coaching Conference at McLean/Harvard.

Both experiences reinforced a question that continues to inspire me: what happens when moments of wonder, presence, and connection create space for deeper reflection and wiser action?

Through literature review and post-coaching experiential surveys across 60 executive coaching sessions, our early observations suggested something meaningful: when people reconnect with wonder, perspective, meaning, or deep presence, something often shifts. They become less reactive, more reflective, and more connected to themselves, to others, and to what truly matters.

Perhaps this matters because awe creates space.

Space to pause.

Space to soften.

Space to listen.

Space to reconnect.

And perhaps authentic happiness emerges in those spaces.

Not because life suddenly becomes perfect, but because we begin to live more intentionally.

More aligned with meaning.

More grounded in presence.

More accepting of who we are.

As we slow down, something else becomes possible: integration.

We stop fragmenting ourselves to fit expectations and begin accepting more fully our strengths, imperfections, emotions, and humanity. We become gentler with ourselves. Research on self-compassion suggests that relating to ourselves with kindness rather than constant self-judgment supports resilience and wellbeing (Neff, 2011).

And when we relate to ourselves differently, our relationships with others often begin to shift too.

Decades of research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development suggest that the quality of our relationships is strongly associated with wellbeing, health, and life satisfaction (Waldinger & Schulz, 2023).

Yet authentic connection with others often begins with something quieter:

Learning to be present with ourselves.

Perhaps this offers an invitation.

Take a moment and reflect:

What experiences help you feel most present?

What small moments have stayed with you for years?

When was the last time you experienced awe?

What truly matters in this season of your life?

Sometimes the answers do not emerge through effort.

They emerge through attention.

I have come to believe that authentic happiness may not be found in constant striving or external success alone.

It may emerge through a quieter process of returning.

Returning to meaning.

Returning to presence.

Returning to connection.

Returning to what matters.

Again and again, life invites us back.

Back to ourselves.

Back to one another.

Back to the small moments that remind us what is most important.

And perhaps authentic happiness has been there all along, patiently waiting for us to notice.

References

Capra, K. (2026). The day I met awe. In E. Zhivotovskaya (Ed.), How We Flourish: Science-Backed Practices at the Core of Well-Being (Vol. 2). CAPP Collective Authors.

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.

Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Free Press.

Waldinger, R., & Schulz, M. (2023). The good life: Lessons from the world's longest scientific study of happiness. Simon & Schuster.

About the Author

Katherina Capra, MCC, ACTC, MSc, is an executive and leadership coach, positive psychology practitioner, and wellbeing advocate who supports leaders and organizations through transitions, resilience, and flourishing. Over the past three decades, she has worked with executive clients across Fortune 100 companies and global organizations in industries including technology, finance, healthcare, media, energy, and government.

She serves as Vice President of Wellbeing at ICF South Florida and is a contributing author to How We Flourish: Science-Backed Practices at the Core of Well-Being (Vol. 2), where she wrote the chapter The Day I Met Awe. She has also contributed to research exploring the role of awe in coaching, connection, humility, and wise leadership, including work presented at the Institute of Coaching Conference at McLean/Harvard.

Her work focuses on helping individuals and organizations cultivate wellbeing, meaningful leadership, authentic connection, and sustainable flourishing.